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Kedoshim And Disobedience

Solomon Moon — Sat, 11 May 2024 03:30:10 GMT

Parsha Kedoshim denotes several prohibitions, but male homosexuality is one that is antiquated and historically extrapolated. Although some rabbis contend that Kedoshim was only to be applied to male homosexuality rather than general homosexuality, the parsha still implies that at least some form of homosexuality was prohibited in Judaism. The interpretation of this verse can influence how queer Jews are perceived and accepted in communities. The movie Disobedience offers a compassionate response to homosexuality from a Jewish lens.

Disobedience opens with an Orthodox rabbi teaching about the first humans. Before he abruptly dies during his speech, he tells the congregants that people are "free to choose." The film goes on to follow Ronit, the rabbi's estranged daughter. She returns home to pay her respect, only to realize that her childhood friend, Esti, has married her father's rabbinic student. It's not long before it's revealed that the relationship between Esti and Ronit is more than platonic.

Some Torah scholars have debated over the status of King David and Jonathan's relationship, or the gender and sexual identity of Joseph. These conversations are welcomed opportunities, however, to do more than debate the moral validity of queer Jewishness. It's a chance to honor the gender and sexual diversity of our ancestors. Esti and Ronit's affair leads Esti to muster the courage to demand her freedom from her husband by asking for a divorce from Dovid. Before Dovid gives Esti an answer, he must give his teacher's eulogy.

I was reminded of this rabbinic story as I watched Disobedience. There was a Jew praying in an untraditional manner. Another Jew scolds him and tells him to pray the traditional way. Later, the disciplining Jew hears G-d in a dream telling him that he robbed the Divine of a blessing when he scolded that Jew, because now he no longer prays. So he goes back to ask the Jew why did he stop praying. The untraditional Jew replied, “because I couldn’t be myself with the Divine. I couldn’t pray from my heart.” So, the other Jew told him to pray as he desires because it pleases Adonai. This was a story about keva and kavanah praying originally. But its implications about intentionality and G-d’s desire for a relationship with Jews regardless of how that takes shape, as long as it’s done with love, are paramount.

Made to feel bad for who she chooses to love, Ronit left her stifling Orthodox community to live her cigarette smoke-filled life in New York as a photographer, a disagreeable lifestyle to her father. The disapproval and unacceptance of Ronit’s sexual identity and lifestyle pushed her away from her community. It is not uncommon for queer Jews with similar invalidating experiences to diminish their relationship with Adonai and Judaism as well. Regardless of the interpretation or application of the homosexual prohibition, the positive and negative commandments were given to the Israelites to bring them closer together to each other and to the Divine through love. The moment when Jewish law does not give effect to this purpose may be the time to reevaluate ourselves and our understanding to refine ourselves to be more compassionate. Allowing our tradition to evolve to be more inclusive, despite Jewish law, is when disobedience becomes an act of chesed.

Dovid’s choice is not a matter of law but a matter of lovingkindness. He must decide what’s most important: respecting the divinity of Esti’s identity and her choices, or potentially endanger the relationship between Esti and the community the same way his teacher’s condemnation caused Ronit’s withdrawal. In the end, Dovid echoes his teacher’s words with a broader understanding and much more compassion. We are “free to choose,” free to choose how we express our gender identity, free to live how we want, free to love who we want to love and still be all the more Jewish.

This the the tiferet and gevurah of chesed, the discipline and beauty of unbounded compassion. When we can see the other, the queer Jew, and not only welcome them but also include them in our lives and communities with as much love, respect, and acceptance for who they are as we do with heterosexual Jews, then we embody Rabbi Zalman’s teaching on the greatest law. After being asked which commandment was greater, to love the Divine or your neighbor, he stated, to love your neighbor, because then you love what Adonai loves.

Shir Ha Shirim And Sleepless In Seattle

Solomon Moon — Mon, 29 Apr 2024 16:00:10 GMT

Shir Ha Shirim, or Song of Songs, is considered to be the “holy of holies” by some rabbis. Its explicit themes of love and longing have been posited to be a metaphor of the love betwixt Israel and the Divine. What’s most endearing is the longing, one lover in search of the other, to be reunited with their partner. Within this liminal space of love is a lesson on loss that is shared in the romantic comedy, Sleepless In Seattle.

It is tradition to read Song of Songs during Pesach. The reunion between the Divine and Israel is ripe with compassion leading to the liberation of the Hebrews from Mitzraim. As we retell the story of Exodus, we ponder the freedom from our own mitzraim, or narrow places. After losing his wife, single-father, Sam, moves to Seattle with his son as he navigates his mitzraim—the trials and triumphs of grief.

Sam’s longing to once again feel the fireworks of love he experienced with his wife seemed both impossibly laughable and hopelessly romantic. His love and grief defined his emotional reality. Sam was a widow, one who would never again experience the deepest passions of romantic love, he believed. And to even try, let alone succeed, to love someone again would imply that his feelings for his wife were not quite the affair to remember.

Understandably, it can be difficult to see the light in the darkness, difficult to forgive, or overcome grief and trauma. It can be difficult to acknowledge that there is divinity in the darkness, that it serves a meaningful purpose too. The only difference between feeling as though Life has buried you or planted you is whether you decide to grow. Growth in experience, perspective, emotional maturity, and more compassion are often fruits of loss that bring us closer together. These bittersweet triumphs are the sparks of divinity concealed in darkness, if only we have the courage to be vulnerable with one another about our struggles. To kindly wrestle with tragedy is to wildly search for every reason to love.

More than a movie about love at first sight, or, from the Jewish lens, the reunion of soulmates, Sleepless In Seattle illustrates the importance of shared vulnerability and having difficult conversations compassionately. (A hopeful wish for all Pesach seder discussions.) The liminal space of love that Sam was experiencing due to grief was an opportunity to bond closer with his son, experience a new city, and become brave enough to find hope for new love.

During Pesach, a common theme at some seders is “What mitzraim do you need liberation from?” However, like Sam, the lovers in Song of Songs, in their fervent search, leave us with another question: “How can your mitzraim be the fertile bed for love?”

A History of the Haggadah

Franklin Jester — Thu, 11 Apr 2024 01:16:06 GMT

By Henry Hollander

The Passover Seder is the most widely celebrated Jewish home observance among the entirety of the Jewish people today. Where did the practice come from? The earliest version of the Seder is the meal that God commands the night before the Exodus: “The shall eat the flesh [of the lamb] that same night: they shall eat it roasted over the fire, with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.” (Exodus 12:8) Sound familiar?

The home ritual became part of Temple worship once the portable sanctuary was built in the desert and later in the first and second Temples. However, after the destruction of the Second Temple we begin to see a Passover Seder that looks more familiar. In the Mishnah an entire book devoted to the observance of the Passover holiday exists. In Pesachim, chapter ten, we find a festive meal that resembles a familiar Passover, complete with the four questions that the child asks (although the four questions nowadays have some differences), and the four cups of wine.

Many things have been added. The four types of children, Wise, Evil, Simple and Unable to Ask, is not in the Mishnah but is built up out of Mishnaic comments on Torah Verses. The retelling of the exodus story is built up on Torah sources by Rabbis of the Mishnaic era and embellished by the Rabbis of the Babylonian Talmud and the later Babylonian Geonim. Dayenu, which I imagined to be later was formed the same way. The Grace after meals and the Hallel that is included afterwards use older blessings, but are products of the Geonic and Medieval periods (700-1450).

The tradition of illustrating the Haggadah began in Medieval times. Dozens of illuminated Haggadah manuscripts still exist. Many are available in Facsimile editions and make great holiday gifts. However, nowadays you would be hard pressed to find a Haggadah that lacks some kind of illustration, such is the gravitational field that the Passover story exerts over Jewish creativity.

The Haggadah has also become a form and forum for Jews to express their feelings about various other issues that were not explicitly a part of the Passover story. In the 1970s, the plight of Soviet Jewry entered into many Haggadot. The orange on the Seder plate, relate to the role of women in Judaism also entered into the Haggadah at the time. As early as the 1930s the Haggadot of the Workman’s Circle focused a the broad range of social justice issues and on the role of Yiddish culture. At the same time, in the future State of Israel, kibbutzim, most of who were either secularist or militantly secularist, began a tradition of making new Haggadot each year which expressed the values that they brought to the building up of the land of Israel.

If you are shopping for Haggadot ahead of your Seder there are now many many choices. If a Haggadah looks good to you, give it try. If you enjoy it, come back to it. If not, go head and try again. Variety with Haggadot is a good thing. But, if you feel like you have the time become a part of the tradition and try your hand at making your own. Here’s a helpful online resource: https://www.haggadot.com/. The story continues.

To learn more the following books are highly recommended:

The Origins of the Seder The Passover Rite and Early Rabbinic Judaism – Barukh Bokser

Polychrome Historical Haggadah of Passover - Jacob Freedman

Hagadat Shekhter. The Schechter Haggadah: art, history and commentary – Josh Kulp

Haggadah and History: A Panorama in Facsimile of Five Centuries of the Printed Haggadah – Yosef Hayim Yerushalmi

If you like historical fiction, try: People of the Book – Geraldine Brooks

The Holdovers and Parshah Ki Tisa — 20 Adar I, 5784

Franklin Jester — Fri, 01 Mar 2024 22:54:44 GMT

By Solomon Moon

SPOILER WARNING

The Holdovers is a slice of life film that follows the story of a teacher trying to mold the young, impressionable mind of his troubled student, who has great intellectual potential. In Parshah Ki Tisa, this teacher-student relationship is evident between G-d and Moses, as well as Moses and the Israelites—the wilderness holdovers.

Forced to temporarily stay in an inhospitable environment, the student’s behavior tests the teacher’s ethics and teachings on what it means to be a “Barton man.” For instance, Paul Giamatti’s character, Professor Hunham, tells his student Angus: “Barton men don’t lie.” Then, the story proceeds to reveal the teacher’s own lies and secrets. But the most intriguing part of this story is how its ending reflects Moses’s decision in the parshah.

The Holdovers ends with Professor Hunham lying and taking responsibility for Angus’ actions in order to keep him from being expelled. Though it cost Hunham his job, it was one of his few selfless acts in the film for someone who gave him the most trouble. The Israelites in the desert were anxious awaiting Moses’ return and told Aaron to make them a replacement—the golden calf. This wasn’t the first instance of how the Israelites had transgressed against G-d. But like Hunham, Moses saw the potential of the Israelites, the good in them, and took responsibility for their misstep as his own.

This act of teshuvah is quite different from the typical approach to teshuvah. Instead of atoning for one’s own actions, Moses pleads with G-d to atone for the actions of the Israelites. But is it possible to atone for the actions of another? It certainly seems so in this parshah. However, there’s a reason why Moses was able to do so.

The more Hunham spent time with the rebellious Angus, the more he realized how similar they were. He began to see more of himself in Angus. Moses shared a similar experience with the Israelites. Prophet status aside, Moses was capable of doing teshuvah for the Israelites because he was one with his people. The Israelites were (as we often say as Jews) many bodies, one soul. The sin of the Israelites was Moses’ sin too. Therefore, his act of teshuvah was to be accepted by G-d and acknowledged as if they all sought atonement.

Such unity is noble and admirable. It evokes a higher sense of community and responsibility for each other. To celebrate diversity, yet see beyond the differences is an opportunity to promote inclusivity and strengthen communal bonds based on our shared Jewish identity. Hunham sacrificed his prestigious job for Angus’ future. Moses was prepared to sacrifice the Torah and his relationship with the Divine for the sake of the Israelites. This selfless act of lovingkindness for the good of others is the kind of compassion that can light a path towards peace and Oneness, if only we see the other reflected in ourselves.

A Response to Elias Neibart’s article “Taking Judaism Personally.”

Franklin Jester — Wed, 21 Feb 2024 03:43:32 GMT

By Henry Hollander

In December the online magazine Tablet published an article by Elias Neibart [link] that cast the spiritual seriousness of Converts to Judaism as a lesson, and perhaps a rebuke, to many of those who were born Jewish. My initial response to Neibart was one of general agreement. In my experience, Jews by Choice have always made up an out-sized presence in the classes that I have taught. Their probing curiosity is a delight. But I have heard people say, “Every Jew is a Jew by Choice nowadays.” My friend Itzak Khodak, z”l, immigrated from the Soviet Union in the early 1980s. The first thing that he did was find a synagogue and begin attending daily minyan twice a day, a practice that he held to past his hundredth year. Whenever we struggled or failed to make a minyan he would grumble, “I don’t understand. In America no one stops you. You are free to be a Jew…” Itzak suffered for being a Jew in Russia for most of his life. It was an identity that the Soviet rulers wouldn’t let him set aside and for which they never stopped punishing him. Here in America he had the freedom to walk away from the pain and the struggle of living life as a Jew and instead chose to live an active and joyful Jewish life – good to the last drop.

Itzak and those who are officially “Jews by Choice,” may not have similar experiences of what it is to live a Jewish life, but there is a sweetness that I felt in Itzak’s presence that is often indistinguishable from my time spent with Jews by Choice.

Neibart is among those who are alarmed by the rise in the number of Jews, particularly younger Jews, who don’t identify with with the Jewish religion, “instead viewing their Judaism as purely ethnic and cultural.” (He is looking at the Pew Study from 2020 found here) Viewing the Jewish people as an ethnicity is, to my mind, a sentimental nostalgia for a time when American Jews lived in “Jewish neighborhoods,” ate “Jewish foods,” and immigrated from older places of Jewish settlement. Nevertheless, that nostalgia, even in the absence of actual Jewish practice, shows that it is possible for a Jew to live an intensely Jewish life framed and experienced through culture.

The child of a convert from Catholicism, Neibart regrets that his experience of Judaism lacks the transformative quality that his mother had in her conversion. He writes, “In many ways, the children of converts outsource their theological journey to their converted parents.” In the work of Abraham Joshua Heschel [link] he finds a calling for each Jew to respond to their own personal experience of wonder – of the encounter with the ineffable (one of Heschel’s preferred English words for the Divine), “with the awareness of reality that discredits our wisdom, that shatters our concepts.” If we look at Abraham and Sarah, two characters in Jewish sacred history not born Jews, as converts, we Jews, all of us, are either converts or the children of converts. Neibart cites Heschel, “the ultimate question, when bursting forth in our souls, is too startling, too heavily laden with unutterable wonder to be an academic question, to be equally suspended between yes and no.” Neibart fails to mention that to Heschel religion, all religions, not just Judaism, comes not in the moment of wonder, but in response to that moment when the intensity of it has passed. We might want to live in that moment, in that peak experience, but that is beyond out human limitations.

In the 1950s and ‘60s Heschel’s office sat at one end of a hallway at the Jewish Theological Seminary. In the office at the far end of the hallway was the office of Mordecai Kaplan [link], the father of the Reconstructionist movement. Kaplan believed in a conception of God that opposed the spiritual approach of Heschel. Rather than God as a kind of supernatural being, he believed that “God is the Power that makes for salvation” He viewed Judaism as a religious civilization, a civilization like ancient Greece or like modern day America, founded but not limited to purely religious impulses and embedded in the flow of history. For Kaplan, culture, rather than “religion,” is the broadest category of what it is to be Jewish.

Both culture and religion are terms that did not exist in the Hebrew language until the modern era. They represent a slicing up of what Jewishness has meant to the Jewish people over time. The distress that some people feel when they hear that Jews choose not to define themselves by one of the terms that are external to a tradition Jewish self-understanding should be recognized as a problem of categories rather than of realities.

It can be difficult in the United States to properly understand what it is to be Jewish. Unlike in Christianity and Islam, belief is not what makes one a Jew. Making oneself one of the Jewish people, in all their variety, is what makes one a Jew and this is what is asked of those who choose to be Jews. While a turn towards Jewish expression following intense religious experience is a sign of Jewishness for some, it is not the easiest way to be a Jew and is probably too much to expect of most Jews. It is a blessing that Jews by Choice have this intense experience more easily accessible to them than those who are born Jews. Neither Jews by birth nor choice should take it upon themselves to judge how other Jews live or believe. That is a task best left to the Merciful One.

The Money Pit And Parshah Terumah

Franklin Jester — Wed, 14 Feb 2024 22:24:04 GMT

By Solomon Moon

“And let them make Me a sanctuary that I may dwell among them.” --Exodus 25:8

This week’s parshah has a verse that speaks to me in a loving way. That sanctuary Adonai instructed the Israelites to build was lavish. But it was to be made so that the Divine could be in a more intimate relationship with them. It reminds me of the film, The Money Pit, a story about a couple trying to repair a home that keeps falling apart. Parshah Terumah leaves me with one question: What is your sanctuary?

In the film, Walter and Anna buy a house that is in dire need of repairs before it can become a livable home. Unfortunately, their relationship takes a turn for the worse. It seems as though as the house falls apart, so too does their relationship. Or perhaps, it’s the other way around.

This sanctuary that we have been asked to construct isn’t just the one that housed the physical stone tablets. It can be our home, our way of life, our minds, our relationships. Wherever the Divine can dwell among us, there can we build Them a sanctuary to have a deeper relationship with Them. Even when those things seem to be falling apart, there’s a lesson to learn from the film.

The Money Pit has a wonderful teaching about life and love. After the house was restored, Walter and Anna, who are now separated, were given some sage reassurance. “[The] foundation was good… and if that's okay, then everything else can be fixed.” The contractor was speaking about the home. However, it ironically applies to Walter and Anna’s relationship as well. But what is this “good foundation” in our lives?

The sanctuary that the Israelites built was home to the Ten Commandments. The first two commandments remind us to love G-d and to love your neighbor. Rebbe Hillel interpreted this to mean, “That which is hateful to you, do not do unto others.” In other words, love is a verb. More than a feeling, it is a choice to build a home, a life, or a relationship with another. Rabbi Zalman goes a step further. When asked which of the first two commandments were greater, he responded: “Love your neighbor because then you love what G-d loves.”

Love is a beautiful foundation, but it’s rarely an easy one to build on. In all of Life’s seasons, love will be tested. There will be times of emotional separation or distance created between you and your loved ones.

Inside Out and Parsha Beshalach —14 Shevat, 5784

Franklin Jester — Thu, 25 Jan 2024 21:59:25 GMT

By Solomon Moon

In Parsha Beshalach, the Amalekites fought the Israelites after G-d liberated them from Ancient Egypt. The Israelites were able to overcome Amalek when Moses’ hand was raised. When it fell, Amalek prevailed. So Aaron and Hur supported Moses’ hand to keep it raised.

This week we also celebrate Tu B’Shvat, the New Year for the trees. An interesting fun fact about trees is that they have their own “Aaron and Hur” through the mycorrhizal network that connects the trees to each other underground. In the wake of climate change, the Gaza war, and antisemitism, it is clear that Amalek is yet to be truly defeated. But, the question that I am left with after reading Beshalach is “Who or what is your personal Amalek?”

This question brought to mind the animated film, Inside Out. It’s about a young girl named Riley, who has moved to a new city and isn’t adjusting well. She even attempts to go back to her old home by herself. The Israelites wrestled with this same urge, as many questioned whether they were better off as slaves in Egypt than to die free in the wilderness.

Grief is often associated with the death of a loved one. However, it can also come as the result of the loss of a relationship, loss of a job, change in health status, or any significant change in life, such as moving away from a place once called home. Riley and the Israelites were experiencing grief due to this new change in their lives.

Thanks to Joy, Riley’s inner happiness regulator, Riley tried to deal with her grief initially by conjuring good memories or doing the things she used to find satisfying. In a place far from where she called home, these once happy moments transformed into sadness. Joy tried to keep Sadness from corrupting Riley’s happy memories. Simcha is a mitzvah so, Rebbe Nachman may agree that this is the appropriate response to Riley’s situation. However, what Riley really needed was to express her feelings with the comforting support of her family, instead of trying to run away from the pain.

Grief is a painfully arduous, transformative process. Like any major change in life, grief can also be accompanied by its friends: anger, depression, and denial. Processing grief is not easy and everyone grieves differently. But how you cope is similar to how the Israelites prevailed against Amalek (or, how the trees remain resilient through climate change). That is to say, sometimes no matter how valiantly we fight against our personal Amalek, our inner-Moses needs Aaron and Hur to help raise his hand in order for us to prevail.

As we turn grief inside out, we choose to grow into the unfamiliarity of life. This is a battle that, unlike with the Egyptians, G-d cannot fight for us. Amalek blocks the path to Sinai—our destiny, our relationship with the Divine. Amalek stands in the way of our true, higher selves. The battle with Amalek is our choice to fight for G-d, for freedom, for our peaceful and loving future together. Yet sometimes even when you do all the right things, Amalek seems to be prevailing.

Riley’s decision to return to the familiar life she had was not just out of grief and frustration. She was also terribly afraid, and running away from this scary, unfamiliar world her parents forced upon her. Joy then realized Riley needed Sadness to help her process these uncomfortable feelings. Together they created a new memory orb that was yellow and blue, filled with joy and sadness.

It’s easy to go back to the familiar or the way things were. But in order to continue growing, we must face the unfamiliar. Grief comes to aid us in that transition by revealing what has been lost and where you have room to nurture new life. The liberation from Egypt and journey through the wilderness was the Israelites’ opportunity to become and experience something greater than the slavery they endured. To find gratitude

in the grief is to see the angel in the marble, and carve until he is free.

There are many things that can keep your inner-Moses’ hand raised: community, support groups, creating new joyful memories and experiences. It can be expressing gratitude, doing a mitzvah, or going for a hike to appreciate the miracle of nature. Whatever it is, remember what you’re fighting for. Remember what our ancestors fought for. Remember what G-d fought for. Like the trees, may you find strength in your roots to weather life’s challenges and the courage to grow through difficult storms.

When Harry Met Sally and Parsha Vaera — 1 Shevat, 5784

Franklin Jester — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 20:47:12 GMT

By Solomon Moon

There are two questions proposed in the movie When Harry Met Sally: 1) Can men and women just be friends? And 2) When exactly did Harry meet Sally? Fans of the film may consider the latter question to be obvious, but truly meeting someone in a relationship comes at a pivotal moment. These two questions are not unlike the two questions that came to mind while studying Parsha Vaera.

This week’s Torah portion opens with G-d reintroducing Themself to Moses. This is particularly significant, if not peculiar, because it conveys two things about G-d and Their relationship with the Israelites and patriarchs. First, the patriarchs and G-d were not on a first name basis, which could mean G-d had a lower-level of trust in them. Second, the Divine desires not only to be loved, but to be chosen in the vicissitudes of life through our actions.

When Harry Met Sally also opens with an introduction of Harry meeting Sally before going on their rocky road-trip together. Harry and Sally were anything but fast friends. This early moment is reminiscent of G-d’s relationship with humans before Abraham and Sarah. This brings up the first question: Can G-d and humankind be friends?

The patriarchs before Moses seem to have endeavored to answer that question in the affirmative. Yet, Vaera reveals that G-d withheld Their true name from the patriarchs, despite their good intentions to be faithful to Adonai. From a human perspective, it’s as if there is some relational trauma that needs to be healed before G-d can entrust the ancient Hebrews with Their ineffable name.

Harry has his own reservations about distrusting the opposite sex to remain platonic due to his past experiences with women. Perhaps G-d’s past experiences with humanity prevented Them from being vulnerable enough to share something so precious with the Hebrews.

If so, that would make the journey of the Israelites up to this point a means for testing their faithfulness in order to gain G-d’s full trust as partners in Creation. It isn’t until the Israelites become slaves in Ancient Egypt and prove to remain faithful to the teachings and covenants they’ve inherited, long after the patriarchs of the tribes have passed, that one can see that the Israelites have made evident their unconditional love for G-d. In the face of discrimination, slavery, violent oppression, and death, the Israelites choose G-d and their tradition.

The Israelites journeyed from a relatively favorable life before the famine to an unfavorable life in Ancient Egypt and still chose the G-d of their ancestors. This is like the end of When Harry Met Sally. While Sally, being single, wrestled with feeling unloved and lonely on New Year’s Eve at a party, Harry, several blocks away, finally realizes he’s not just in love with Sally. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her too, immediately. With a fiery love in his heart, Harry runs across town to confess to Sally in the same way G-d chooses to confess to Moses from the burning bush. Harry and Sally finally meet one another when they choose the love of their partner over everything else, including themselves.

The sages have often used marriage as a metaphor to describe the relationship between the Israelites and the Divine. Following that tradition, the opening of Vaera is analogous to the ending of When Harry Met Sally. If the receiving of the Torah is the matrimonial “I do,” then the moment G-d reveals Their true name must be the holiest, bended-knee marriage proposal of all time. Here is where G-d chooses the Israelites and fully realizes their love for each other to begin a more intimate relationship. Thus, G-d reveals Their name to impress upon the Israelites how much They care about them and how far They are willing to go to prove that.

The plagues, the liberation from Mitzraim, are G-d’s way of saying, “I choose you too, Israel.” Redemption of the Israelites is a theme associated with the Exodus that is merited to the Divine. But there also appears to be a redemption of humanity and their fall from grace to warrant and renew G-d’s trust in humanity. This redemption can be merited to the Israelites who chose their faith over their circumstances. This kind of love and trust draws the Divine closer, bringing more Light into the world. This is how the second question is answered.

When did the Divine truly meet Israel? When Israel’s love matched their faith in mitzvahs without any sign of reward. The Israelites made space for the Divine in their hardships. So the Divine made space for them to be liberated from it. To open your heart to care unconditionally is an invitation for the Divine to kindly do the same for you.

Spider-Man and Parsha Shemot - 22 Tevet 5784

Franklin Jester — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 23:37:26 GMT

By Solomon Moon

Many people may not be aware of Peter Parker's Jewish origins. The web slinging superhero, Spider-Man has the power to climb walls, lift objects 100 times his size, and shoot spider webs from his wrists. That may sound fantastical, but his greatest superpower is something we all possess. It's the same power that G-d exercises daily on our behalf, and it's a power that can change lives. Whether or not we choose to use that special power is always a choice left to us.

This week's Torah portion, Shemot, commences the journey of the Israelites to be led out of slavery by the Divine. G-d, being mindful of their suffering, sought to liberate the Israelites from Egypt. This act of life-sustaining lovingkindness to support and care for the ancient Israelites is demonstrative of G-d's chesed. But there are a few others in this parsha who do chesed in a way that embodies the same kindness exhibited by the Divine. They are the amazing women in this story whose compassion essentially saves the life of Moses.

Fans of Spider-Man will know the famous words of Peter Parker's Uncle Ben: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is a lesson that can also be learned from Moses, the midwives, Batiya, Miriam, and Yocheved as well. For instance, when Batiya, Pharaoh's daughter, finds Moses in the river and refuses

to commit infanticide simply because he was a Hebrew baby boy, her compassion proved itself to not only be life-saving but also one of the catalysts for liberation of the Hebrews.

It can be difficult to see the significance and impact of one small act of kindness amid a great number of tragedies and grief. Yet, it is also important to never forget people like Miriam, Yocheved, Batiya, Zipporah, Shifra, and Puah. These heroines did not have super strength or the ability to wrangle evil-doers with spiderwebs. They instead possessed a greater gift and power: the ability to show compassion and empathy for the stranger, the other, the oppressed, and the alleged enemy.

These women looked beyond themselves and the consequences that could have befallen them, such as for defying Pharaoh, to see their humanity reflected in another human being regardless of race, ethnicity, or gender. Then, they extended to "the other" the same unconditional lovingkindness that G-d offers to everyone. This teaches that out of the 7 billion people enduring their own hardships, even if it's just one person who is the recipient of your kindness, you have made the world a better place. While a single act of kindness may seem small relative to the grand scheme of life, it can mean the world to that person.

Peter didn't get the slogan "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man" just because he saves lives and fights crime. Spider-Man took on the title after his act of unkindness led to the death of his uncle. After a bookie refused to pay Peter in the Spider-Man film, Peter chose to let a robber escape even though he had the power to stop the criminal. That same criminal killed Peter’s Uncle Ben shortly after. Since then, Peter made it a habit to use his powers for good and do acts of kindness. He's a superhero who not only saves lives but also shows up for his fans in the hospital and helps the elderly cross the street safely.

Kindness in whatever form it takes is an imperative because it can soften the hardest hearts. It’s what can transform the stranger into a neighbor or friend. Needless to say but all the more important to remember, communities and relationships are forged and strengthened through compassion and empathy, not hatred and violence. Psalms reminds us that the world was created from G-d's chesed. Likewise, Tikkun Olam and a better tomorrow can be achieved through our chesed because kindness begets kindness.

Suffering becomes bearable and worth persevering through when compassion relieves the pain of others. Everyone struggles and is fighting their own battles, but no one need fight alone. Batiya’s kindness towards Moses is her way of standing with the Israelites and humanity in solidarity. To relieve the suffering of another is the greatest gift we can share, the greatest power we all possess. For it is our collective responsibility to acknowledge other people’s suffering as our own and to act compassionately towards them, as Batiya does for Moses.

Jews and New Year's Eve

Franklin Jester — Thu, 28 Dec 2023 23:50:44 GMT

By Henry Hollander

There are four Jewish New Years in the Torah. These include Rosh Hashanah, Tu Bishvat, the first of Elul (the New Year for tithing animals), and the first of Nissan, which starts the cycle of Jewish holidays. But as Americans we only have one.

Why is our secular New Years on January 1st anyway? Europe went back and forth about whether to use the Julian or the Gregorian calendar, but the Gregorian calendar won out because it made Easter come at the right time. January 1st celebrates the Saints Day of St. Sylvester, one of the more anti-Jewish saints, and January first happens to be the day of Jesus’ circumcision. That makes January first the anniversary of Jesus’ first Mitzvah.

In Israel, at least a third of the population celebrates Silvester (or the Feast of St. Sylvester) in many of the same ways Americans do New Year’s Eve. The Zionists in pre-state Israel didn’t like Silvester because it wasn’t Jewish from a secular or a religious point of view, but they couldn’t keep it down. Now about ten percent of Israelis celebrate Novy God, a tradition that they brought with them from the Soviet Union. Religion was suppressed in the Soviet Union, but Novy God was built up as a secular holiday that retained some of the non-religious customs of Christmas.

But is there anything Jewish about American New Years? Well, there are the vows. On Yom Kippur we annul all the vows that we have made over the past Jewish year. In American New Years we make vows. However, we all chronicle how quickly we fail to keep those vows. Perhaps the most Jewish thing we can do on American New Year’s is to avoid making vows we can’t keep. We only have one day of American New Year’s. Let’s not overdo it.

The Christmas Dilemma for a New Jew

Franklin Jester — Mon, 27 Nov 2023 22:35:54 GMT

By Anthony Arnello

Wreaths hang in the mall. The local radio station becomes “Your Home for the Holidays." Wherever we go, we hear people say “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” Yet, amidst the Christmas-centered festivity, finding a place for our Jewish identity can be far from wonderful. When December rolled around after my conversion, I was excited for my favorite season, but I was also conflicted. I had devoted so much energy to the exploration of Jewish holidays, theology, and history; so much that was new. When a familiar time came around, I wasn’t sure how to handle it. After all, this year, for the first time, I was a real Jew for Christmas.

My family supported me in my journey, but they also celebrated Christmas. They wanted me to feel seen, but their traditions, decorations, and music weren’t going to change. And, to be honest, I didn’t want them to! They were comfortable, familiar, and fun. Thus, I found myself in a two-part December Dilemma. I felt unsure of how to handle Christmas-centered events without feeling uncomfortable or guilty for “wavering” from my Judaism. I wondered how I was going to incorporate my new Jewish identity into the traditions and gatherings already formed in our family holiday schedule. Flustered and a little defeated, I moved on and started planning December, trusting that my pathway through the holidays would become clear.

As we decided on party dates and menu items, I began to separate Christmas as a religious experience and Christmas as time with my family and friends. I saw that the focus of these parties wasn’t so different from the Jewish holidays I had worked so hard to grow accustomed to. Food and family– It was as simple as that!

It’s a mitzvah to honor our parents, and by extension our family. Becoming a Jew, we enter The Tribe, but we cannot forget our own tribe. We bring with us traditions, food, and family. While our family may not become Jews alongside us, those who support us are a part of our tribe and in that, they become a part of the Jewish story. In honoring where we come from and where we have chosen to go, we honor our heritage and our truth. So dare to dreidel with Dasher and Dancer! Incorporate Jewish traditions and Hanukkah into your family events and establish yourself as a new Jew.

Silver Wrapping Paper: Another Reflection on the “The December Dilemma”

Franklin Jester — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 17:02:36 GMT

by Arlene Chernow

As we enter December and upcoming holidays, I want to share some thoughts from my 25 years working in congregations. The December Dilemma was the most requested program that I offered to congregations. My takeaway is this: so many of the hurt feelings happen because it is hard to talk with members of an interfaith extended family about expectations.

The topic that came up again and again was wrapping paper. The story that I heard was that the members of the extended family generally accepted the family’s choice to not celebrate Christmas in their home, but then presents to children came wrapped in Christmas paper. This was interpreted as a passive aggressive gesture.

Let’s take a closer look: Many of the experiences took place before the internet made shopping as easy as it is today. If you live in an area of the country where there is a Jewish population, it may be easy to get Hanukkah wrapping paper in your local store, but there are many parts of the country where the Hanukkah and the Christmas wrapping paper are not next to each other. One woman shared that she sent Hanukkah wrapping paper to her mother well in advance of the December holidays with a note asking her parents to use it.

If they are open to the idea, I suggest having a discussion within your family. Together, you can decide whether to wrap gifts in the paper of the holiday that the gift giver celebrates or the paper of the recipients holiday. If it is the latter, prepare in advance by buying your family members the appropriate wrapping paper for them to use on you or your children’s gifts. Either decision gives parents a chance to have a positive, proactive discussion of love and respect for cultural differences.

Another solution we’ve come up with is silver wrapping paper. After many years of leading these discussions, one of my daughters married a man whose family has a tradition of exchanging Christmas gifts among adults in addition to buying gifts for children, which had not been our tradition. I was then faced with the question of how to wrap the gifts. I chose silver wrapping paper. Why? It shows respect for my daughter’s in-laws. It looks pretty under their Christmas tree, and it is still true to who I am.

Am I reading too much into wrapping paper? Maybe, but I think that silver wrapping paper can be a useful model for the critical question: How can I be true to my new identity as a Jew and create a warm extended and loving interfaith family.

Stand with Israel" a letter from an Israeli American Rabbi.

SCBetDin Admin — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 17:46:38 GMT

My brothers and sisters in the Jewish community from an Israeli American Rabbi,

Peoplehood, for me, is the essence of Judaism. Peoplehood bears with it the sense of brotherhood, the sense of “I see you” and “I’ve got your back,” as was the case in the months and days preceding the 1967 war when the Jewish world rallied for the safety of Israel. Today, because of the technological advancement of weaponry and its destructive power, Israel is in a much more dire strait.

We, the people of Israel, need to hear and feel: "I’m your brother" – from you.

We need your support now more than ever before. There is a lot you can do right now and, in the future, when we rebuild all the places devastated by the furious fire of hate.

Here is what you can do:

1. Donate - please donate directly to Israeli organizations. This is the most practical, hands-on you can do now–to help with acquiring medical and safety equipment.

2. Help with explaining the situation, especially on social media. This is a war we tried to avoid for decades, many concessions were made, which consequently, allowed Hamas to gain power. This is a war against pure evil that finds satisfaction in brutality and killing, exploiting their own people.

3. Kaddish – As of now we have 1,300 people dead and we estimate the numbers will rise. Please adopt one person from the list to your heart and say Kaddish for them when you are at services or at home. Please try to contact their family, so that they know that their brothers and sisters abroad are with them. Here is a list of names: https://www.kan.org.il/content/kannews/defense/559346/

4. Pray - Pray and spread awareness about the many civilian hostages, among them young children and elderly who were abducted from their homes. Here is a list of names: https://www.israelhayom.co.il/news/defense/article/14684663

5. Peace - Peace is a noble aspiration that we, the Jewish people, always strive for. But right now, we are still fighting for our survival and burying our dead children and loved ones.

In reality, Hamas killed any chance for peace, deliberately, on October 7, by brutally murdering and torturing 1,300 people, among them babies.

Peace means normalization, and there is nothing normal about neighbors who come to your house to kill you, burn your home down, and abduct your children. Would you trust such a neighbor?

The army estimates that there were about 2,500 “neighbors” who came viciously, motivated to do their atrocities, and many more “neighbors” came to loot the homes of the dead people.

For this, we are at a loss for words, not to mention trust.

In these very difficult, traumatic days, the people of Israel need all the support they can get from the greater “People of Israel”- Am Israel.

To help us feel connected as one people, please let us hear, see, and feel you Stand with Israel.

In peoplehood,
Rabbi, Dr. Belle Michael

Sukkot: a Holiday of Joy

Franklin Jester — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 20:06:09 GMT

By Henry HollanderSukkot is my daughter’s favorite Jewish holiday. It might be mine too, but I don’t like to play favorites.

Like Passover, Sukkot (Hag Ha-Sukkot in Hebrew: The Festival of Booths, or Sukkos in Yiddish) is a holiday we celebrate at home. Well, not exactly at home; sukkahs are usually home adjacent. You can build them in your yard or on your deck or on a balcony - any place where you have open sky above you. A Sukkah needs three walls, and it needs to be covered with fresh greenery – enough to give you a bit more than fifty percent shade.

My daughter likes Sukkot because it combines so many of the things that she calls fun: being together with family and friends, making meals with comfort foods, a construction project, and an opportunity to decorate.

You are supposed to "dwell" in your Sukkah during the holiday, but how do you know that you are dwelling? You dwell where you eat all your meals and where you sleep. We used to eat all of our meals in the Sukkah, and my daughter and her best friend once tried sleeping in ours, but they came inside after getting spider bites. Blu Greenberg, in How To Run a Traditional Jewish Household, reminds us that if it is pouring rain we are required to come inside, as the mitzvah of sitting in a Sukkah is only fulfilled when the holiday is a time of our joy.

Sukkot is a great time to get together family and friends, have some fun, and indulge your creative side. If you don’t have the space or the time to build your own, make sure to visit one at a local synagogue, JCC, or at a friend's house.

Tips for Your First Fast

Franklin Jester — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 00:53:25 GMT

As we approach Yom Kippur, the challenge of fasting from sunset to sunset is likely on your mind, especially if you recently converted to Judaism. While fasting can be challenging, it's also incredibly spiritually rewarding.

Whether this is your first fast or your fiftieth, here are some tips to make sure you have a tzom kal (easy fast).

Start cutting back on caffeine.
- Fasting means no coffee, and for many of us, no coffee means a major headache. Start cutting back in advance so you can minimize your withdrawal symptoms.
Hydrate early.
- On the days preceding Yom Kippur, drink plenty of water. While you will undoubtedly still feel dehydrated later in the day, you want to give yourself a head start. Also, avoid heavily salted foods, as this may make your thirstier down the line.
Dress comfortably.
- Fasting is meant to be a challenge. It’s meant to be uncomfortable. But if you are spending all day at services, there’s no reason for your outfit to be uncomfortable too. Dress in layers so you can adjust throughout the day. Your body may react strangely to fasting, which means fluctuating body temperatures.
Move around.
- It’s easy to assume that the best way to get through fasting is to sedentary. While it’s important not to push yourself, fresh air and *extremely light* exercise can be beneficial. Many congregations have light yoga or stretching sessions throughout the day.
Break your fast right.
- Once fasting is done, your brain might tell you to rush out and eat something dense and high-calorie, but that can be a disaster for your stressed digestive system. Start with fluids, progress to light carbs like challah, and once your body has adjusted, enjoy a delicious meal with friends and family.

Remember, Jewish law prevents people from fasting if it could negatively affect their health. If you’re pregnant, ill, or have any pre-existing condition that makes fasting dangerous, talk to your doctor and rest assured that you are not obligated to fast.

Jewish Cuisine Highlight: Ben and Esther's

Franklin Jester — Tue, 08 Aug 2023 19:35:01 GMT

Historically, Jewish-American and vegan foods haven’t mixed. While Sephardic and Mizrahi cuisines have long offered delicious plant-based options, the heavy influence of Ashkinanzi culture on Jewish food in America means meat often dominates the menu. But that’s changing with restaurants like Ben and Esther’s in San Diego.

Named after the founder’s grandparents, this 100% vegan deli serves up plant-based versions of the classic sandwiches you’d find at places like Canter’s, as well as a variety of Jewish staples like latkes and matzo ball soup. If you’re lucky, you may catch one of their amazing specials like a challah “egg” and “cheese.”

The number of people eating vegan and vegetarian diets or just trying to cut back on meat has skyrocketed. Given Judaism’s commitment to environmental issues and mindful eating, it’s no surprise that the trend pertains to our community as well. But that’s no reason to give up the foods that are such a major part of the Jewish-American experience. Ben and Esther’s also has locations in Portland and Seattle, and the owners have expressed interest in opening a location in Los Angeles.

Check out their menu here:
https://www.benandesthers.com/

What is Tish'a B'av?

Franklin Jester — Mon, 24 Jul 2023 15:33:16 GMT

Tish'a B'av is often not taught in Introduction to Judaism classes, but if you've recently finished your conversion to Judaism, it's an important way to get in touch with our people's history. It is a Fast Day, a day of mourning in the Jewish calendar that commemorates the destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem. We mark this day through fasting and prayer on the 9th day of Av.

While the main focus of the day is on the destruction of the temple, Tish’a B’av goes beyond that. It’s a communal day of mourning for all of the tragedies and losses of the Jewish people, including expulsions from countries and the Shoah. Tish’a B’av is a way for us to honor the victims of these events and reflect on how we have struggled and thrived as a people.

The day itself, we fast from sundown to sunset. During this time we read from The Book of Lamentations. Traditionally we read it at night, sitting on the floor, with our books lit by candelight. The chanting is a unique nusach (melody), minor in key and haunting. We break the fast with a meal that does not include meat or wine. Other traditions may include visits to cemeteries or other places of mourning.

Jewish Field Trips: San Diego Center for Jewish Culture

Franklin Jester — Tue, 18 Jul 2023 19:45:19 GMT

After converting to Judaism, many new Jews embark on a quest to connect with their newly adopted identity. If you reside in Southern California, it's easy to focus solely on Los Angeles, given its status as the city with the second-largest Jewish population in the US. However, Southern California's Jewish culture extends beyond the city of Los Angeles, particularly into the greater San Diego area.

One notable way new Jews can immerse themselves in their newfound identity is through engagement with Jewish arts, a grand tradition that stands as a focal point of our people’s identity. A perfect starting point is the San Diego Center for Jewish Culture, located in La Jolla. Historically affected by Antisemitism, this area now proudly hosts the Center for Jewish Culture, a hub for Jewish theater, music, art, and more. The Center's youth theater program offers an array of performances, ranging from Jewish classics like Fiddler on the Roof to modern pieces like Spongebob the Musical. This provides a splendid opportunity for parents of young Jews to engage with the Jewish community's longstanding influence on American theater.

The Center for Jewish Culture also hosts the annual Jewish Film Festival, a major event in the Jewish cultural calendar. While the festival officially kicks off in January 2024, early screenings begin as soon as September.

The Center operates as part of the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center. While synagogues are often seen as the central spiritual and social hubs, particularly during and after conversion, JCCs play a crucial role in nurturing community engagement, especially among new members of the Jewish community. If you live in the San Diego area, the San Diego Center for Jewish Culture offers an excellent avenue to explore your Jewish identity more deeply.

Visit their Website

Jewish Field Trips: Skirball Cultural Center

Franklin Jester — Thu, 13 Jul 2023 17:41:37 GMT

One of the first struggles and joys of converting to Judaism is connecting to Jewish culture. This can be hard if you live in an area without much of a Jewish community, but we’re lucky in Southern California. One organization working to showcase our culture, both abroad and in Los Angeles, is the Skirball Cultural Center.

Located on a beautiful campus in the hills just north of the Getty, the Skirball Cultural Center is a museum with plenty to offer. They have a massive collection of Jewish art and cultural items that tell a story of how we came to the US and built a home on the West Coast.

While their permanent collection is enough to demand a visit, their featured exhibitions make this a must-see destination for both local and visiting Jews. The genres of these exhibitions can range from showcases of LA Jewish artists like Peter Krasnow to deep dives into impactful eras of Jewish history.

While adults reflect on our people’s struggles and triumphs on the West Coast, children can have a fun, hands-on experience exploring their culture. The ongoing Noah’s Ark exhibit brings the story of the flood to life, letting kids climb, build, and explore. Families can also visit the art studio, enjoy story time and music jams in the Amphitheater, and more. Just be sure to check the schedule ahead of time, as some of these activities only run on specific days.

There is no shortage of options for exploring Jewish culture in Los Angeles, but whether you’re just beginning your conversion to Judaism or a long-time new Jew, the Skirball Center is an excellent way to spend the day connecting and reflecting. Start planning your trip at www.skirball.org

Image Attribution:
Hughwa, CC BY 3.0 , via Wikimedia Commons

Moral Conflict and Conversion toJudaism

Franklin Jester — Mon, 03 Jul 2023 21:41:02 GMT

By Kevin Masterson

I feel like I’ve had an inner conflict about God since I was a small child, long before my conversion to Judaism. I remember my first grade nun, Sister Justina, telling us that to question or disobey a nun or priest was a mortal sin, which meant we go to hell with no chance of redemption. I remember how frightened that made me. I didn’t want to go to hell.

The conflict in me was born when I began to see things that made me question their actions. I would see nuns and priests beating children, and I always had an uncomfortable feeling when a priest would come to visit. However, I didn’t want to go to hell, so in my confusion I figured their behavior must be a ‘mystery' that I was not worthy enough to understand.

My conflict grew even greater in Civics Class in the 5th grade. Sister Augustine had us take a true or false quiz about prejudice. We reviewed the quiz as a group, and there was a question about white people being superior. I raised my hand and said “that is false, sister. In God’s eyes everyone is equal.” Sister Augustine then asked me again. I repeated my answer. She said “no, the answer to that question is true. You are prejudiced.” I tried to explain again, and she told me to sit down. I was so confused and ashamed. What she was saying was against everything that I had been taught to believe by my parents, the priests, and all my other teachers. However, I was also taught that I couldn’t question her, so I assumed there must be something wrong with me.

Several months later, I started puberty shortly before my 11th birthday. I was told nothing as my body began to change and my testosterone kicked in. Having been so repressed by my family and my faith, I rebelled with a vengeance. I was given the message that I was “bad”, so I set out to not disappoint my critics. I knew that there was something wrong with my religion, but I wasn’t allowed to question it. I was too afraid. I didn’t know what hypocrisy meant.

I joined a Jewish fraternity in college, as I had many friends there and I fit in really well. All of my brothers were very smart and ambitious like I was. Their families valued education like mine did. The only real difference that I can see now is that they did not have the deep level of shame that I did. When they felt bad it was from their conscience, not the fear of going to hell. They made mistakes and learned from them. I made a mistake and was to be punished by God for eternity. They gently taught me to question how irrational many of my beliefs were.

I fell away from the faith that I was born into due to several very traumatic experiences, and I felt lost for many years. I felt that I was being punished for rejecting my family’s religion. Eventually I found my way to a 12 step program and a spiritual church. However, I still felt so much confusion and shame. My “faith” wasn’t strong enough. I often made very bad choices for that reason.

I never forgot the comfort & clarity that I got from the fellowship of my fraternity brothers. At the encouragement of Rabbi Sarah Horonsky, I began an intro to Judaism class at American Jewish University. I remember the first thing that Rabbi Morris Panitz said in class: “In Judaism we believe that all human life has value.” It felt like I exhaled fully for the first time in my life.

In the past three years, I have learned the value of questioning. I’ve heard many other people express their opinions, ask questions, and admit it when they didn’t know the answer to something. That’s what has resolved my conflict in my journey into Judaism. I am encouraged to be authentic and continue to seek out truth. For me, that seems exactly what the purpose of this earthly journey we are all on is designed for.

Counting the Omer

Franklin Jester — Mon, 12 Jun 2023 17:44:17 GMT

By Jill Housen

Counting the Omer, or the 49 days between the holidays of Passover and Shavuot, is special for me. It is one of the few times I intentionally slow down and make space to prepare my mind and spirit to receive the Torah.

This year was more challenging than others with new responsibilities added to my already busy schedule, and sometimes I did not meet my set time for prayer and counting. What I learned through this experience was to let go of expectations of perfection and to be more engaged in what was happening during the process of the actual meditation.

I questioned if it was possible to infuse this spiritual nourishment into my everyday life. This year I purchased a workbook, a 49-day self-care immersion. I found this grounded me while counting the Omer. Every day there was a prompt with an activity tied to the teaching.

Linking action to the teaching helped me incorporate my meditation into making lifestyle changes. I hope next year those who have not experienced counting the Omer will join me on this 7-week journey of growth and transformation.

Jewish Field Trips: Food Tour

Franklin Jester — Mon, 05 Jun 2023 15:16:41 GMT

There’s no question that food plays a major part in Jewish culture. From Shabbat challah to Hanukkah latkes to any number of Passover-friendly matzah creations, it seems like every special day in Jewish life is marked by food (or lack of it). And it goes so far beyond our holidays. Judaism has a rich culinary history, and partaking in it is a great way for Jews by Choice to feel connected.

If you live in Southern California, you’re in luck. There’s no shortage of delicious Jewish eateries, including delis, Israeli restaurants, and even a few plant-based options. Here are some of our favorites.

Disclaimer: Not all of the options on this list are Kosher.

Canter's Deli - Fairfax

When you think of Jewish-American food, you think of the classic deli. Reubens, pastrami, and matzo ball soup are all on the menu at Canter’s, which has been an LA institution since 1931. While it’s not a kosher restaurant, it will hit that comfort-food craving.

Bo.Re.Kas - Sherman Oaks - OK Certified

Far too often, Ashkenazi food captures the spotlight for Jewish cuisine. Bo.Re.Kas, a newer restaurant exclusively serving bourekas, is changing that. Bourekas are a Sephardic pastry filled with anything from cheese to chocolate. This spot is open from 9am to sell-out, so get there early.

Ta-eem Grill - West Hollywood - RCC Certified

TimeOut magazine put it best when they said “It’s not hard to find falafel in Los Angeles…but man, is it hard to find great falafel…Enter Ta-eem Grill.” Many different cultures lay claim to falafel, but there’s no doubt that it’s a well-loved dish is Jewish cuisine. Of course, you can also order other Mediterranean classics like chicken shawarma and beef kabobs.

Ben and Esther’s - San Diego w/ an LA location on the way

Historically, Jewish-American and vegan cuisines haven’t mixed, but that’s been changing. Ben and Esther’s is a 100% vegan Jewish deli with several locations in California and the PNW. From brisket sandwiches to challah egg n cheese, they’ve brought the classic NYC experience to a plant-based crowd. While not certified kosher, there is no meat or dairy in the kitchen.

Maury’s Bagels - Echo Park/Silver Lake

If you’ve spent any time online in Jewish spaces, you will likely see people from the east coast teasing California about our bagel situation. I will give them one concession: We do not have a cheap bagel shop on every corner. But that doesn’t mean we don’t do bagels! Maury’s has some of the best bagels the Golden State has to offer, plus other classics like challah and noodle kugel. While it’s not kosher certified, the kitchen only serves dairy and fish.

Hosting Your First Passover Seder as a Jewish Convert

Franklin Jester — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 17:07:54 GMT

By Franklin Jester

Passover, also known as Pesach, is a significant holiday in our calendar that celebrates the liberation of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. As a convert to Judaism, this was one of the few holidays I was already familiar with, and I was eager to celebrate. Hosting a Seder, or the traditional meal and ritual held during Passover, is a great way to feel connected to Judaism, but it can be intimidating to host one for the first time. Here are some tips to ease your anxiety and help you host your very first Seder from someone that’s been there:

Remember there is no perfect Jew. As with my first Shabbat dinner, my biggest fear was that I was going to do something wrong and offend my other Jewish guests. But that happens to even the most seasoned hosts. Someone is going to mispronounce some Hebrew, miss a cue for a drink of wine, or forget to hide the Afikomen. It’s okay.
Pick the right Haggadah. The Haggadah is the book that outlines the Seder service. There are plenty of traditional options, as well as more modern takes that cover relevant issues or lifestyles. While they will all follow a basic outline, make sure you study it and print copies for all of your guests.
Plan for the strictest observance of Kosher for Passover rules in your guestlist. The basic Kosher for Passover rules are no wheat (except in matzah), oats, rye, barley, or spelt. In many traditions, rice, corn, legumes, and most seeds are also off the table. Regardless of what rules you keep, ask your guests what they follow so you can be inclusive.
Organize your Seder plate. The basic elements you need are Karpas (a green vegetable eg: parsley), Haroset (a sweet fruit and nut mixture), Maror (a bitter herb, eg: horseradish), Hazeret (another bitter herb, eg: romaine lettuce), Zerora (a shank bone), Beitzah (egg). Vegetarians and vegans can substitute a roasted beet and a potato for Zerora and Beitzah.
Ask a friend for help. The best part about converting to Judaism is the community that is willing and eager to help. Reach out to a member or your temple or just a Jewish friend. Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din is also able to provide a conversion mentor for both candidates and recent converts.

Passover is a beautiful and powerful time in the Jewish calendar. While it may seem stressful to host a Seder, it’s a huge step in your Jewish journey. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be afraid to be imperfect.

Esther Holds a Lesson in Combating Antisemitism For All of Us

Franklin Jester — Mon, 27 Feb 2023 23:49:51 GMT

By Anthony Arnello

Purim at first glance appears like a version of Halloween, New Years, and the County Fair all combined, but there’s much more to it than that. Purim celebrates the saving of the Jews by Queen Esther. For those who don’t know, here’s a paired down version of the Megillah: Esther was not born to royalty, but was instead chosen out of many to become King Ahasuerus of Persia’s new wife.

At first, since she does not appear Jewish, she does not make her heritage known. However, it’s discovered that the king’s advisor, Haman, is hatching a plan to kill the Jews, so her uncle Mordecai urges her to reveal her true identity. Amidst fear of death, she tells the King of her Jewish background and urges him to stop Haman. King Ahasuerus condemns Haman, his plan is foiled, and the Jews are saved.

Purim is about celebrating the courage and the heroinism exemplified by Esther. It’s about the “masks” we all wear each day to get through life, but it is also about knowing when it’s necessary to peel back a façade to do what is right. The rabbis teach us that Purim and Yom Kippur are “two sides of a coin.” Without diving into the theological and Hebrew reasonings for this teaching, the takeaway is that Purim is important!

Though this holiday might not be one of conventional religiosity and admiration of God, it leaves us with an important lesson and calling: to recognize that the voice of one may save the lives of many. Antisemitism has been around for as long as there has been a Jewish people. It is an unfortunate reality that comes with choosing to be chosen, but as scary as it can be to choose to deal with antisemitism, there is also a power in this path.

As Jews by Choice, we come from varied backgrounds; different ethnicities with unique experiences, histories, and understandings. In the face of rising antisemitism, in some ways we are lucky. We may or may not “look Jewish” or have backgrounds which are conventionally Jewish, but we ARE Jews. Esther teaches us that part of being chosen is choosing to do what is right, even when it is scary. We can explain and advocate in ways others cannot and we must use our strengths to strengthen and help the Jewish people, our people, just as Esther did.

Jewish Imposter Syndrome

Franklin Jester — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 19:18:48 GMT

By Anthony Arnello

The day I decided to go forward with conversion after two previous tries, my sponsoring rabbi asked what had stopped me before: My answer was simple: I didn’t want to feel “not Jewish enough” after I became a Jew/ I wanted to do it right. I remember my rabbi telling me there’s no doing it right or wrong. It is a journey. If the journey is one you wish to take, then you will make it your own as you grow and evolve.

Navigating through imposter syndrome as a new Jew, especially during major holidays, means creating and claiming tradition for yourself. Even if you are at the beginning of your journey, tackling feelings of imposter syndrome is an essential part of your journey. Halachically, you are a Jew following the conversion process, but emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, the conversion begins when you allow yourself to feel more like a participant and less of an observer. If only it were so simple as it sounds.

In a practical sense, there are two things which can help stop these feelings. First, be involved! Find and cherish the supportive people who can meet you where you are at. You cannot go from a full Friday at work or other activities to spending Friday morning braiding Challah, cooking all day, and preparing a Shabbos table. Find people who share your lifestyle, passions, and goals of observance. You will understand, respect, and learn from one another. Moving beyond that, as you evolve, you can decide to kick it up a notch.

The second important tactic to tackle Imposter Syndrome is education. So often, we may feel out of place because as new or soon to be Jews, we don’t have the family history, traditions, and stories that others do. However, a lesson I learned early on was that many converts in the US have studied more about Jewish history and theology than most American Jews. If you can bring knowledge to the table, you will be both a good ambassador to non-Jews and an informed member of the tribe.

Being a new Jew is something exciting. We bring with us elements of understanding, culture, and traditions from our own backgrounds. We are ground zero for building tradition and community. Judaism is a living and breathing diaspora. That fact is what has kept Jews alive, what has fueled our principles, and what will give you solace as a new Jew that you belong, you are relevant, and most importantly, you are home.

Conversion to Judaism: Hatafat Dam Brit

Franklin Jester — Mon, 30 Jan 2023 17:30:00 GMT

by Kevin Masterson

When I made the decision to convert to Judaism, I thought "Good. I already have one thing checked off my to do list. I am circumcised". I began the process during the pandemic, and therefore I wasn't in contact with other men further along in the process to find out details of the final steps. When I met with Rabbi Sarah, she explained what I needed to do to finish my conversion.

"I need to ask. Are you circumcised?"

"Yes," I responded proudly, thinking that was one less thing that I had to do. She then explained the Hatafat Dam Brit and gave me a list of several urologists/mohels that could perform the ritual. You can imagine I was less than thrilled. In fact, I was slightly terrified.

I googled to find information on the ceremony, but unfortunately there was very little out there. I guess it's not a topic that most men want to discuss. I called three of the phone numbers she had given me and made an appointment with the mohel who sounded the most reassuring.

People who knew that I was converting to Judaism asked me if I was scared when I told them what I had to do. Of course I lied and said no, but the very thought of someone drawing even a drop of blood from my manhood made me anxious. However, I have never been one to let fear stop me from doing anything that I really wanted to do. I thought "well I didn't read anything about how painful it was or that anyone was severely injured so maybe it's no big deal."

I was scared while driving to my appointment, but the mohel immediately put me at ease. He explained what he was going to do, and said not to worry as it was literally one drop of blood. He also explained that since the blessing was not said when I was circumcised, this ceremony was a way to fulfill that mitzvah. He said the prayer, and I closed my eyes, waiting for a sharp pain that would send me through the roof.

"We're done," he said calmly after a few seconds.

"Really?” I responded. “I didn't even feel it". I was elated as the one thing that I was most scared of turned out to be so easy. The Hatafat Dam Brit was a really powerful experience as it allowed me to symbolically complete the experience of the Brit Milah. The process really made me really feel like I was a member of the tribe. I felt seen as a Jewish man. My suggestion: Celebrate it as one the final steps on your journey into Judaism. Mazel Tov. Kevin Masterson

D'var on Balak and Implications for Bet Din

Deborah Schmidt — Tue, 12 Jul 2022 21:47:41 GMT

Rabbi Janet Madden delivered at July 12, 2022 Governors' Meeting

Of the six Torah portions named after central characters--Noach, Sarah, Yitro, Korach, Balak and Pinchas—Parshat Balak is perhaps the most perplexing: why do we have a parsha named for a Moabite who plots the destruction of B’nei Israel?

The previous parsha, Chukot, concludes with the Israelites on the move, marching towards the land that has been promised them, having already defeated two kings in the Transjordan: Sihon, king of the Amorites, and Og, king of Bashan.

Parshat Balak opens with the introduction of the prince of Moav. Balak deeply—and rightly—fears the approaching Israelites, who are now encamped just across the Jordan. So Balak comes up with a devious plan appropriate to the meaning of his name: “Devastator.” He sends messengers to the territory of the Euphrates, to his kinsman Balaam, son of Beor. The call for help informs Balaam that there is a people that has come up from Egypt and is so numerous that “it hides the earth from view.” Balak assures Balaam that he will be well compensated if he will “put a curse upon this people for me…perhaps I can thus defeat them and drive them out of the land. For I know that whomever you bless is blessed indeed, and whomever you curse is cursed.”

Balaam’s name tells us that he is not “of the people”— perhaps he is uniquely set apart by his powers of prophecy and divination. And Balak is a true believer in the powers of Balaam. Although initially, Balaam refuses Balak’s oﬀer, since he has been Divinely warned against taking up this task, by the third time that Balak appeals to him, substantially raising the promised compensation, and perhaps appealing to his ego, Balaam accepts the commission. And that is when it becomes clear both to Balaam and the Moabite dignitaries who accompany him that Balaam’s powers are indeed paltry compared to the powerful and protective Divine Presence that guides and shields the Israelites. Balaam’s expedition to curse the Israelites escalates in a series of three supernatural, surreal events during which the G-d of Israel takes over Balaam’s hearing, sight and speech: ﬁrst, he hears the words of chastisement of his donkey, then he is able to see the presence of a potentially murderous Angelic Messenger and, ﬁnally, as he has already told Balak, his power of speech is shaped by the Divine: he blesses rather than curses the Israelites.

I wish that I could say that the dramatic events of this parsha bring us to the moment when, moved by these miraculous events, Balack and Baalam are moved to join B’nei israel. For at each high place where he is expected to speak a curse, Balaam instead speaks a blessing, not only acknowledging that “The Lord their God is with them” but also saying of himself

May I die the death of the upright,

May my fate be like theirs!

And, of course, he also pronounces the beautiful words that we pray in our morning liturgy:

“How fair are your tents, O Jacob, Your dwelling, O Israel” (Num. 24:5).

But, unlike those who come before this bet din, in spite of these praises, Balaam does not become another Yitro, casting his lot with the Israelites.

The Rabbis, playing on the name Balaam, call him "Belo'Am" (without people; that is, without a share with the people in the world to come) and "Billa' 'Am" (one that ruined a people), a reference to his role in the Heresy of Peor. Tractate Sanhedrin imagines him as blind in one eye and lame in one foot—metaphors for his perceptual and moral failings—and states that he had no portion in Olam HaBa.

But what about Balak? In full disclosure here, I am a lover of midrash and it is my joy to follow the breadcrumb trails laid down in Torah. And I know that in sacred texts, as in real life, we humans see only a part of the story. We never know how things will unfold in a future that we will not live to see. And so it is with the deep connection between this parsha named for Balak and the work of this Bet Din.

While joining B’nei Israel is not the choice of Balaam or Balak, Midrash Ruth Rabbah tells us not only that Ruth and Orpah were sisters, but that both were daughters of Eglon, the king of Moab. And Eglon was the son of Balak. That is, Balak was Ruth’s grandfather, and as we know, moving further into the generations from our archetype for those who choose to join the Jewish people, from Oved, the son of Ruth and Boaz, Oved the great-grandson of Balak, comes Jesse and then David. And Solomon, for that matter.

The lesson of this pasha, for me, is that it is inevitable that some will hate us and want to destroy us and some will acknowledge the power and beauty of our tradition. And, from the most unexpected places, in times and ways that we cannot imagine, some will choose to join the Jewish people. In the sacred process of ﬁnding their spiritual home, these people will not merely recite, with full hearts, the beautiful words:

“How fair are your tents, O Jacob, Your dwelling, O Israel” (Num. 24:5).

They will take up residence within the tent of our Jewish community. And we are so richly blessed by their choice.

Conversion

Deborah Schmidt — Mon, 30 May 2022 17:33:21 GMT

Conversion Speech by Rabbi Jerry Goldstein, 5/29/22

In the beginning there was silence. My deepest education into the sources of Judaism was at the Hebrew Union College in Cincinnati, Ohio. HUC, as we call it, is the oldest seminary in America for the training of rabbis. All the students in HUC are college graduates; I came from UCLA with a BA degree in philosophy and sociology. I began my studies at HUC in 1959, and in my five years at HUC I can remember no lesson ever on “Conversion to Judaism.” On that subject, there was silence.

Perhaps we never studied “conversion” because it is never mentioned in the Tanach, our Hebrew scriptures – the Bible of the Jews. Nowhere in Tanach is there any mention of a conversion ceremony. Even in the book of Ruth, a book about the most famous convert in Jewish history, there is no ceremony. Ruth is from Moab, and she is always identified as a Moabite woman. But when her Israelite husband dies, she does not go back to her own Moabite parents. She stands with her already widowed mother-in-law Naomi and swears loyalty to the older woman: “Wherever you go, I shall go. Your people shall be my people, and your God shall be mine.” No ceremony. No witness. No Bet Din. No Mikveh. Poof, it’s done! The great grandmother of King David of Judea is a Jew by Choice. From her line shall come the great Messiah! And, there wasn’t even a certificate or document. Just a story in the Bible.

---

My HUC ordination was in 1963. I began my professional rabbinate in Minnesota at historic Mount Zion Temple as the Assistant Rabbi. About 6 months later, one of the Sunday School teachers came to talk with me about her daughter Alice, a girl who had grown up in the congregation. Alice had met a wonderful young man and they were now thinking about marriage. “There’s only one problem,” Mrs. Friedman said as she leaned forward to whisper confidentially, “he’s not Jewish. What can we do? Can he become a Jew?”

BINGO! The conversion silence was cracked open. Can Tom become a Jew? It’s a good question and in plain English. But I had no quick answer. I had to stall. “Mrs Friedman, I’d love to meet the couple in person. Please give me a couple of days to find the right answer for your question.”

Naturally I made a beeline visit to my senior rabbi’s office to discuss the situation. How can Tom become a Jew? “It’s easy,” he told me. “Schedule a couple of meetings with him where you explain Judaism to him. Then you just convert him. The main thing is, just keep it quiet. Nobody needs to know. This is something private. Don’t embarrass the Friedmans!”

OK, that’s the rules and he’s the senior rabbi in this temple. That’s what I did. And that’s when I began to really think about conversion and my rabbinic involvement. First, I met Alice and Tom in my office. They were indeed a nice young couple who were in love and wanted to marry. Tom was indeed a thoughtful young man of classic Scandinavian stock like so many people in Minnesota. Alice was a lovely young Jewish woman with normal allegiance to the faith in which she had been confirmed. They would both like me to officiate at their wedding, and it should be a Jewish ceremony like her parents had done. I was pleased.

As it happened, on the day that I was to announce Tom’s conversion to Judaism in front of the tiny daily minyan at temple, my father-in-law was visiting us from LA. Carl was a long-time member of Temple Israel and he had served on his Temple Board as chair of the Religious School Committee. Spontaneously, I invited him to watch Tom’s conversion as an outsider. He had never been in the place where that happens. Carl knew nobody in the chapel, and nobody knew who he was. But he was thrilled beyond measure by what he saw unfold: a mature gentile man stood voluntarily in front of the synagogue ark and pledged allegiance to Judaism. My father-in-law was blown away! And I learned something I never ever forgot. Conversion to Judaism is a holy moment – ineffable! Not just for the ger, but for everyone in the room where it happens. Nothing embarrassing about it. It’s inspirational for all us Jews, even Mrs Friedman.

---

On the subject of conversion to Judaism, here’s another famous Bible story from the book of Exodus. A bunch of so-called Hebrew people were slaves of the King Pharoah in Egypt. They were miserable in their terrible toil and yearned for freedom. As if by magic, a strong young man came into Egypt - and Moses was his name. He organized the slaves for a massive revolt against the slavery system. His famous demand to Pharoah was “Let my people go!” Unbelievably, without any precedent, Moses’ revolt succeeded. He led what the Bible calls “a mixed multitude” of former slaves out of Egypt and into the Sinai Desert wilderness.

Who was in that mixed multitude marching out of Egypt 3,500 years ago? Certainly, lots of them were Hebrews – but not all. Other down-trodden slaves were in the crowd. They too marched behind Moses. He led them all to the mountain called Sinai, way out in the wilderness. That’s where the whole mob of escaping slaves took on a new shared identity as followers of Adonai.

What happened at Mount Sinai was a giant conversion ceremony. The Bible says that “all the people [at Sinai] witnessed the thunder and lightning, the blare of the horn and the mountain smoking.” (Exodus 20:15-16) This was one of the all-time greatest sound and light shows. The witnesses were overwhelmed by the phenomena. With one voice they turned to Moses and pledged: Na-asey ve-nishma! Tell us what to do and we will listen!

A whole lot of escaped slaves were suddenly melded into a new people called Israelites – those who struggle with God. We Jews of modern times are the heirs of those ancient Israelites. The Shavuot holiday we celebrate this week is our annual commemoration of the mass conversion at Mt Sinai when our ancestors were all welcomed into Jewish community and our communal faith – Judaism came into being. It asserts that all of us are Jews by Choice!

---

In the contemporary world we are no longer silent about conversions to Judaism. We are out of the closet now. We rabbis greet these seekers of Judaism. We are ready and delighted to welcome new persons into the Jewish community. They enrich and enlarge our community by their inclusion. Each of these seekers is called a ger. They come for all sorts of reasons, and I am always amazed by their journey stories when unpacked before our panel of three rabbis in a Bet Din court hearing.

Before I finish, let me tell you about the room where the Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din regularly makes conversion happen. I’ve been in there dozens of times over the last 20 years, and I am always thrilled by the opportunity. Every conversion candidate is accompanied by a sponsor rabbi who has supervised the candidate and prepared them for this meeting. Even though we can’t arrange a fabulous sound and light show, the room at the American Jewish University does have a fantastic & beautiful glass mural of Mt Sinai spread across the front of the room and its two side walls. The ger is seated at a large table facing the overwhelming image of Mt Sinai with hundreds of Hebrew letters cascading down onto the mountain. We three rabbis serve as the three dayanim (judges) required for a Bet Din session. We sit at the base of the mural’s Mt Sinai, facing the candidate. Each of us is trained to listen for sincerity, integrity, and knowledge in the answers of the candidates. We ask no trick questions and no “got-tchises”; we are there to welcome the ger and not to embarrass or scare them. The scene is awesome and sacred.

For the Bet Din session’s finale, family and friends are invited into the room. We all rise for the ger to read aloud to all of us a very moving statement of Jewish commitment which he or she has studied beforehand with the sponsoring rabbi. It usually brings emotional tears to my old eyes. What a privilege it is for me to be part of such a holy journey into Judaism! Then the ger seals the conversion by going directly to the nearby mikveh for immersion into the sacred living water - Mayim Chayim. This is truly a moment to remember!

Transition in Parshat Chukat

Deborah Schmidt — Tue, 09 Jul 2019 21:18:58 GMT

Once or Twice in a lifetime, a man or woman may choose a radical leaving, having heard Lech l’cha — Go forth. God disturbs us toward our destiny by hard events and by freedom’s now urgent voice which explode and confirm who we are. We don’t like leaving, but God loves becoming. These words were written by Norman Hirsh, and are in the siddur, Mishkan Tefilah.

Leaving, becoming. Is it destiny? Perhaps. Transition and change, most definitely.

There is a saying, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I don’t agree with that. I think transition and change are always happening, sometimes in large ways, and sometimes small, though to see it, we may need to slow down and look, as one might suddenly see a small flower growing out of the pavement. In our parashah this week, Aaron is leaving, it is his time to die. His son Eleazar is becoming the High Priest, as he takes on the mantle of his father’s work. This moment of transition and significant change is initiated by the instruction:

וְהַפְשֵׁ֤ט אֶֽת־אַהֲרֹן֙ אֶת־בְּגָדָ֔יו וְהִלְבַּשְׁתָּ֖ם אֶת־אֶלְעָזָ֣ר בְּנ֑וֹ (Num. 20:26)

“Strip Aaron of his garments and put them on his son Eleazar. “

Why mention the garments? The mention of the garments in the Torah may seem extraneous, but of course is not – this is necessary, Rashi says, to teach us that there is a relationship between these garments and Aaron’s death. Further, the Talmud, in Tractate Zevachim, describes a correlation, that each individual garment of the High Priest atones for a specific sin. I prefer Ramban’s explanation though, as in his commentary, he teaches a midrash in which the Rabbis ask, How could Moses strip Aaron of his garments in their proper order? Are not the upper ones always on top, and the lower ones always underneath? – We too might ask, how does this work – make a pile of clothing, and then sort them out to dress Eleazar in the correct order of layering the garments? Ramban explains that God bestowed upon Aaron a great honor at the time of his death - that celestial garments first clothed themselves underneath the other garments, and then Moses stripped Aaron of the priestly garments in their proper order, and then put them on Eleazar in the proper order. What’s the concern? The concern is that Aaron should not appear naked, that this process should not dishonor him.

Aaron represents the past that we must take care to honor. Eleazar represents the future that we must take care to nurture and protect. In between is the present in which transition and change occur.

This too, is the path of one who comes to us, choosing to become Jewish, sitting before us. Their outer garment may be what we see, the actions of “doing Jewish” – the holiday observances – Passover, Shavuot, High Holy Days, Sukkot, Shabbat, the learning of Hebrew words, and prayers, perhaps wearing a kippah, or a star of David…but as a candidate sits before us, we know too, that underneath are the hidden layers, a leaving behind…perhaps of Christmas Carols and chocolate bunnies…and connection with it too, perhaps not so much about religion, but rather about family and tradition. The hidden layers… The questions so far unarticulated, the fear of not knowing enough, the hope of truly fitting in, of being accepted, the embarrassment of not knowing all the words, or what they mean, yet… The deep longing of a Jewish soul, born to parents not Jewish, of longing to be known, of words yet to be spoken. Even one who has taken the long journey, with years of study, years of immersion in Jewish life, and a longing for that final step, implies too, a certain leaving, feeling a little wobbly, a little uncertain. Wondering, how to speak to family, to friends, of their identity – yes, one longed for, but one that has yet to fully integrate past with future.

A new Jew does put on a new garment, a new identity, but with the hidden garments too… of hope, uncertainty, fear, loss, …joy. Each, a gift, from the divine, like celestial garments, to be discovered, integrated, cherished, and worn with dignity.

Those who have heard Lech L’cha, and come before us are navigating their way, and it is for us to honor their past, for without that past, they would not have arrived at our door, nor sit before us. And, it is for us, of course, to nurture and be there for them, as the steps they take in the present are precious, as these steps create a new future.

The following blessing is from the Shabbat morning service in Mishkan Tefilah, and was written by Rabbi Richard Levy, z’’l:

You are Praised, who rolls out the rough, raw clay of the universe into delicate vessels of light; and from nothing at all we could perceive in a world that has turned old, a shimmering new Creation right before our eyes made this moment just for us. How much of life reveals Your presence? How much Torah unfolds from each new flower, from each new wave that breaks upon the sea! You are Praised, who forms from the clay that cloaks our lives, the delicate vessels which contain our light. Baruch atah, Adonai, yotzeir ham’orot.

Rabbi Lisa Bock

Are We All Converts

Deborah Schmidt — Mon, 03 Jun 2019 01:38:03 GMT

Inspired by the Yom Iyun on May 7th 2019, a poem by Suzanne Gallant:

I have a theory,
You don’t have to agree.
I’m not a Rabbi
Or even a teacher of Judaica.
I’m a simple student
Who searches through Torah
For truths to live by.

So, here’s my theory.
The first real converts to Judaism
Were the recently escaped
Hebrew slaves.
They were clans, men
Were circumcised as their
Religious identification.
There was only one other law.
“Be fruitful and multiply”
The rules were given at Sinai
And we have continued through the millennia.

We were a family.
Religion came down the mountain,
Told to Moses who, re-told them.
Okay, given that concept
Let’s examine Exodus
Through that lens.
Converts, today, must partake
Of the Mikveh experience.
Might we view the crossing of the sea,
Be likened to a mikveh?
Even though the Hebrews
Received the laws, after .
Even though… okay,
They were our ancestors
Even though, they only chose
To run with the group.
They didn’t know they were Jews.
Being Jewish came later.
Accepting God’s laws
Came first. Doing them ensued.
Making them fit or making
One’s self fit the laws,
That came later.

First we had to learn.
Something like today,
Each of us must search.
Each of us should study.
Each of us must choose.
Judaism isn’t easy.
It is a struggle , finding one’s place
Just like every convert.

A Strategy for Welcoming Jews by Choice by Steven Windmueller, PhD

Deborah Schmidt — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 19:05:30 GMT

Religious life in America is going through a most significant transition. As many Americans are seeking new faith communities, switching religious traditions, and creating new communities of spiritual and religious engagement, Jewish leaders and their institutions need to be cognizant of these major transitions, open to working with religious seekers and young Jews who are exploring with their future mates and partners ways to move forward on their spiritual journeys. Today, we find many younger persons defining themselves as “religious nones”. As they move away from formal religious practices or question various traditional ideas about faith, our leaders must remain open to their concerns, questions and criticisms.

One of the goals associated with 21st century American religion ought to be about breaking down silos of denominationalism in favor of building cross-institutional partnerships and programs. The Jewish community ought to model such collaborative behaviors as a way of assisting new Jews in finding their place and voice within Jewish life. Our communal and religious institutions must be open to welcoming and embracing those new participants who are seeking to become a part of our community. How we receive and engage individuals and couples will be a critical test of our own resiliency and openness to the stranger. We need to acknowledge in this current environment that the different models of Jewish expression and religious practice afford seekers multiple options. The availability of religious choice and the presence of a culture of experimentation are abiding features of the current Jewish scene.

How we prepare and introduce Jews by choice to the Jewish communal roadmap will be another critical first step in helping these new Jews find their way within our community. Our institutional and cultural diversity ought to be seen as a key strength, as it demonstrates the multi-layered character of American Jewish life.

How we manage the opportunities and appropriate roles for those individuals who at this time do not elect to become formally a part of our community, yet who are partnered or married to Jewish spouses, raises some important and challenging issues. Our fundamental goal ought to be focused on welcoming and including wherever possible these individuals within the life cycle experiences of their spouses, children and extended family. Giving clarity and attention to the functions and roles that these folks can play represents another opportunity to demonstrate our community’s flexibility and openness.

Professor Steven Windmueller, summary of talk on delivered at Trustee Giving Circle Lunch, 2/26/2019

Intermarriage: The Elephant in the Room By Rabbi Corinne Copnick

Robin Podolsky — Thu, 03 Jan 2019 02:52:27 GMT

At the end of the secular year, Christmakah (or Hanumas) celebrations have become, if not the new norm, at least common in the U.S. While it is undoubtedly pleasant to celebrate festive occasions on an interfaith basis of good will, intermarriages – where neither of the parties convert, and accounting for more than half of American Jewish marriages now -- have become the elephant in the room in rabbinic circles. The underlying fear, of course, is Jewish assimilation. Will the children and grandchildren of intermarriage be Jewish? Who will fill the pews at our Temples and synagogues? How do you pass on a hybrid, “interfaith” religion? Or no religion at all, let them decide for themselves when they are older?

Are American rabbis permitted to marry couples where conversion to Judaism has not – or not yet – taken place? For many Reform rabbis, and for trans-denominational rabbis as well, the decision is an individual one. Some rabbis ask for certain conditions: that the non-Jewish spouse must commit to bringing up any children of the marriage in a Jewish home where Jewish values and learning are valued. In other words, “Give us your children. Teach them, at least, to be Jewish.”

Many rabbis optimistically believe that, with repeated contact with Shabbat candlelighting, with the joyous festivals, the Jewish way of life with its value of community and tikkun olam, and with a growing understanding of the whys and hows of the Jewish moral code, non-Jewish partners will eventually choose to convert. By that time, they will be well immersed and, today, well accepted in the Jewish community.

For conservative rabbis, however, the choices available are very different. Until recently, they have not been permitted to officiate, let alone attend, intermarriages. However, now, in a move facing the reality of so many modern Jewish marriages, the Conservative movement has decided to allow their affiliated rabbis to attend intermarriage ceremonies. Not to officiate, mind you – perhaps that decision will follow – but for now, they will at least be able to attend the simcha.

In a recent article in the Forward (“Conservative Movement Gives Rabbi Green Light to Attend Intermarriages,” 0ct. 22, 2018), writer Ari Feldman commented: “It is a long-awaited, welcoming gesture. Until now, conservative rabbis could not even hover in the back row if they wished to remain in the conservative movement.”

So maybe the elephant is already out of the room. Perhaps now that we can talk about it together, we can find some useful solutions. In the meantime, Happy 2019!

Spiritual Citizenship: A Reflection on Conversion by Rabbi Corinne Copnick

Robin Podolsky — Fri, 09 Nov 2018 22:16:56 GMT

A decade ago (2008), Rabbi Jeremy Kalmanofsky offered his own thoughtful and enduring article, written from a conservative point of view, on the subject of conversion — which he considered a preferable and potentially transformative alternative to intermarriage. “At a given moment,” he wrote, “a non-Jew is transformed from ‘outsider’ to ‘one of us.’ What changed that person?” What is the transformative moment?

Kalmanofsky suggested that the prospective convert may have passed through one or more “doors” [inserted numbers mine}:

1. “What doorway did s/he pass through, so that the s/he now counts in the minyan?

2. Was it a religious doorway?

3. An ethnic one?

4. An intellectual affirmation.

5. A faith act?

6. A mark on the body?

7. An orientation of the spirit?

8. Does conversion depend on one’s self-definition?

9. Or upon decisions by others, like rabbinic courts?

10. Or perhaps upon the informal willingness of Jews to recognize someone as family?”

Those of us who are born Jews may also reflect on the multiple

stages we pass through during the pathways of our lives?

Do we find enriching moments — our own transformative doorways — along the

way? Do we continue to grow spiritually? Or do we take the fact of Jewish birth our

spiritual citizenship — for granted?

Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din Untitled page

Kedoshim And Disobedience

Shir Ha Shirim And Sleepless In Seattle

A History of the Haggadah

The Holdovers and Parshah Ki Tisa — 20 Adar I, 5784

A Response to Elias Neibart’s article “Taking Judaism Personally.”

The Money Pit And Parshah Terumah

Inside Out and Parsha Beshalach —14 Shevat, 5784

When Harry Met Sally and Parsha Vaera — 1 Shevat, 5784

Spider-Man and Parsha Shemot - 22 Tevet 5784

Jews and New Year's Eve

The Christmas Dilemma for a New Jew

Silver Wrapping Paper: Another Reflection on the “The December Dilemma”

Stand with Israel" a letter from an Israeli American Rabbi.

Sukkot: a Holiday of Joy

Tips for Your First Fast

Jewish Cuisine Highlight: Ben and Esther's

What is Tish'a B'av?

Jewish Field Trips: San Diego Center for Jewish Culture

Jewish Field Trips: Skirball Cultural Center

Moral Conflict and Conversion toJudaism

Counting the Omer

Jewish Field Trips: Food Tour

Hosting Your First Passover Seder as a Jewish Convert

Esther Holds a Lesson in Combating Antisemitism For All of Us

Jewish Imposter Syndrome

Conversion to Judaism: Hatafat Dam Brit

D'var on Balak and Implications for Bet Din

Conversion

Transition in Parshat Chukat

Are We All Converts

I have a theory,You don’t have to agree.I’m not a RabbiOr even a teacher of Judaica.I’m a simple studentWho searches through TorahFor truths to live by.

So, here’s my theory.The first real converts to JudaismWere the recently escapedHebrew slaves.They were clans, menWere circumcised as theirReligious identification.There was only one other law.“Be fruitful and multiply”The rules were given at SinaiAnd we have continued through the millennia.

First we had to learn.Something like today,Each of us must search.Each of us should study.Each of us must choose.Judaism isn’t easy.It is a struggle , finding one’s placeJust like every convert.

A Strategy for Welcoming Jews by Choice by Steven Windmueller, PhD

Intermarriage: The Elephant in the Room By Rabbi Corinne Copnick

Spiritual Citizenship: A Reflection on Conversion by Rabbi Corinne Copnick

I have a theory,
You don’t have to agree.
I’m not a Rabbi
Or even a teacher of Judaica.
I’m a simple student
Who searches through Torah
For truths to live by.

First we had to learn.
Something like today,
Each of us must search.
Each of us should study.
Each of us must choose.
Judaism isn’t easy.
It is a struggle , finding one’s place
Just like every convert.